Mutton Curry

The title might sound exciting, but this is no recipe... this is a tragedy...
what has happened today, it will make me remember 'Mutton curry' for, probably the rest of my life.
This is a summer vacation...
and as it has always happened since mum got married to dad and shifted to delhi, we are here at kolkata, visiting all the people who fight and yet love each other... people who are there for us when we need them... indifferent of what they recieve from us... people you would perhaps recognize, if i say "relatives"...

Its always fun here at kolkata... a few day's time that we spend here is a span between the plans and the memories...
And This year was no different until something happened...

This year, my brother [an IITian of the future] got his classes, so all we could afford was just a week long trip.... relatives that we got to visit, 30 families...
Got to visit everyone to keep from being unfair... for they all love us equally... probably starve for our company... equally...
that means, 4 families per day... that means, 4 lunches/dinners per day, prepared with much affection, considering all that we kids love to eat... hot, saucy and spicy....


it was the last day of the trip, last night... after a visit to my cousin's in-laws and a heavy dinner of "Mutton Curry" and Luchis [puri] we reached my pisi's [bua ji's] place...
to tell you about pisi, well... she is one of the sweetest people i have known.. a patient of acute arthritis, she still remembers the days when i was born...
its often embarassing but its also a delight to see her narrate with tremendous pride to anyone who would hear, the day when she had first taken me in her lap and i had ummmm..er.... wet her sari....

Though she doesnt keep good health these days, the courageous sweet lady prepared a huge dish of the spiciest of mutton curries [thanks to the bird flu rumours this was the fourth time I had mutton that day]. she began pestering us...
our future IITian went to bed leaving me... trapped in her emotinal blackmail...
and i confess, i being a greedy hog, enjoyed it...

I had it... loved it.. ..licked it off from all my fingers... and the rest that followed ...i can only tell you...
it began with the burps which were stinking like a city dump... then followed the tightness...
It felt like i was bound with millions of shackles... drawing out all that i could beathe, in the warm stuffy kolkata heat...
then followed the tummy ache... it began swelling like a balloon, until the elastic of my tracks began to hurt...

I was sweating like a cow [dunno if cows sweat] ... everybody began asking if everything was alright.... and all i could do was nod and smile...and stare sweatily... at the TV..

after they went to bed, i sneaked into the bathroom to puke...
and trust me, it didnt happen.... maybe i had packed myself too much,
or maybe it was the restriction i had put on the amount of sound that i could make...

defeated...i sneaked back to bed...and put on the music...
Lamb of God, one of my favourite rock bands, did make some difference but for the first time in history, it didnt last... the goat precided over soon...
My tummy was hurting like i had jabbed it with my grandfather's butcher knife.. that he often uses to cut fruits...

I closed my eyes n began to decide... should i wake them up and reveal the little secret that i carried in my intestines.. or should i just lay back and sacrifice it to save the honour...
It would be really embarassing if i let it go... but the pain was beginnig to get unbearable...
when the bile begun bubbling, i woke mum... just asked her if she carried any medicine....

that was it... she woke up, then woke dad, the dad woke pisi, pisi woke didi who called and woke my bro- in- law, who happens to be a doctor, living in some other part of the city..

within fifteen minutes everybody in the house was up and searching medicines, talking excitedly, giving suggestions....
I closed my eyes in the cacophony... this was enough... i already suffered enough of physical torture... now this spiritual pain [dont correct me.. i intentionally call it spiritual]
After much search Di found a rantag 40... one square tablet went in .. where my insides had gone on a virtual strike...
Then after a while i visited the loo again... and this time it was a Heavenly experience... as heavenly as it had never been before....

Nobody slept that night.. it was 4:30 in the morning when everyone sympathised over a cup of tea...
oh! how i wish this wasnt the hot topic of discussion...

I visited the loo fifteen times a day for next three days... its no longer heavenly... cause everyone in my entire family now knows about it... even the maid, who is sweeping the floor beside me, now.. is smirking!