How I ran away

"Go, get yourself a walk" Dad yelled behind me. I ran past the elevator as two red buttons glowed moronically at me. The numbers on the display flashed one by one in descending. It would be another few minutes before it flashed eight. I couldn't wait. Dad's gleaming face at the doorway was killing me.

It was hurting to see, how much he was enjoying the show, that I was giving him.
Angry tears smothered my cold cheeks. I promised him in a bloodcurdling growl, I would not return to him, ever. Fluttering the loose straps of my sandals, I took the stairs. Wanting at every step, to yell out the sobs. Muffling them in the next, as I heard low voices and footsteps from the other flats around me.

Life was light on my nerves. I spent my days, moving pages, surfing through pictures of happy familiar faces with exotic locations in the background, witty status messages, cut copied pasted, messages in my inbox, old friends who have grown up, new ones I had never known, bad bad server, no donuts for you. It is, a world of my own. A world which does not demand humongous efforts from me. Which does not punish me with sarcasm, for my failures. A world which does not care who I am. Instead, makes me fall in love with myself. All I need to do is set up a photoshop tampered profile picture and then bask in hollow compliments.

Life was light on my nerves, until today, when he took the warm blanket of my addiction away from me. Dad was desperate to salvage my soul, that I had signed in blood, to world wide web. I patiently waited for him to come around. I tried my best to negotiate. Then finally broke out in retaliation. What was it? A divine intervention that made it dawn upon my father? I have no idea. All I know is that, today he was suddenly adamant about wrenching me away from my deprecated laptop, my Mephistopheles.

I walked into the cold November night in my cotton pajamas. As I had ended on the last step, the air hit me. I realized, it was a mistake to have stormed out without my jacket. I had also left my cellphone behind. The loose sandals were frantically attempting to escape. I bent down and fastened the Velcro. The blue uniformed security guard eyed me. What was he looking at? Maybe my hair. I had forgotten to tie them. They now fell on my face and shoulders in curls, went haywire in the wind. I knew I could not stand at his gaze for long. Rubbing my wet face with my hands, I stepped into the mist and disappeared from the watchman's view.

The night was silent. Far in the distance I could see the tall, shadowy trees swaying to the breeze. Their leaves rustled in heavy melancholy. A hoot shocked and then, faded in the dark as the owl glided past over me. I halted my pace near the huge park. I had seen this park, always bubble with little excited faces. Today, the park lay as silent as the night, bathed in the Moonshine. I spotted a bench. It seemed to empathize with my loneliness. I walked towards it and rested my warm flesh on the cold iron.
A toad croaked a ballad, in a bush somewhere behind me. Crickets had joined it in chorus. Few stars twinkled gloomily in the sky. I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed my palms over my sleeves. An empty swing across the park was catching up with some rest. A night of tired contemplation was ahead of me.

I shook my head in dejection. Life is so unfair. It sets up challenges and offers us a choice, either to face its monsters bravely or hide our necks in the sand and pretend they are gone. What we fail to notice is the smartness with which life offers us the choices. We can only choose but to face our monsters. For running away from them will only lead us back to them, eventually.
The choice that life offers, is merely an illusion.

I choked. Sitting on the cold, hard bench, I knew, I was trapped. All this while, I had been running in circles. The world which existed in my laptop, where it was so easy for my dreams to come true, was a beautiful mirage I was chasing, with dedication. Now as I sat on the bench, alone and desolate, that mirage was gone and before me stood my life demanding an explanation for its wretched condition. I am a failure. However, there is a little hope. But the mere thought of how much has to be done to salvage that hope, rattled my bones. I didn't want to think anymore then. I wanted to go back to that mirage. But what was the point?

My anger didn't ebb. I was angry with myself. More I thought about my situation, more it bloated.

I looked up towards the huge building. Several square frames were lit by fluorescent light. The breeze collected laughters from them, and bore them down until they vanished in the silence of the night. I curled myself, held my knees together with my hands and buried my chin in them. "So this is how it feels, to be stranded" I thought. Tears crossed my cheeks again and got lost in my pajamas. I felt pathetic.

I wished Mum and Dad would come soon and collect me. Running away from home was not a good idea. My situation was like a bird who had lived in a cage all its life. I knew I couldn't fly. Then what if they never came? I might have been agitated at the state of my life, and stranded, and lonely, but there was no way I was going to give up on the rebellion, I had started back at home. Then again, if they never came to take me back, where will I go? I shivered, when the owl flew past me again. "kick-yourself kick-yourself" it sounded. "I ought to kick myself for the brilliantly stupid idea of running away" I thought.

And it was then I decided to kick myself. The owl was right. I needed to kick. I made a move, got my behinds off the bench, turned and swiftly past the park exit. Moonbeams flooded the lane which was lined on one side by glistening Cars and crouching trees on the other. I walked the length in oblivion. The Moon walked with me.

I had never been out at this hour of the night. I climbed the boundary wall and stood leaning on the wrought iron railing for a long time. The wind was stronger at this height. My hair batted frantically against my face. Far in the distance the road lay silently. The sodium streetlamps, stood on guard, like one eyed cyclops. They hung their heads and brooded over the road.

Before me, lay a vast stretch of the abandoned plot. Up from my balcony, it looked like some old man's bald scalp. But I realized from over the boundary railings, it was not a bald patch, but a dreamland. It was covered in knee high yellow grass, which now shimmered in the Moonlight. Between the shining grass grew, tiny white flowers which had turned their delicate petals towards the Moon, as if waiting to be kissed. A bougainvillea tree stood near the boundary and leaned against the railing like me. I wondered, if my touching the bough will startle the fairies who were fast asleep in the blossoms.

I got down from wall and broke a thin dry branch from the bougainvillea tree. Brandishing it in the air like a sword, I fought a moth, who was rushing home.

Once again I stopped at the park. This time I was tempted to nudge the dozing swing. Life may be unfair. We might be obligated to face our fears. But there is one choice life offers us in all its innocence. Its the choice of how we wished to face our fears. Our fears are no big deal if we chose to face them head on. It felt as if, my life will find its way out, on its own. All I needed to do was, walk.

I kicked the ground and in the next moment I was in the air, while all my worries stood waiting for me somewhere behind. I cherished the moment, as I hung, almost horizontally, in the air. I cherished the moment, for I knew how it felt, minutes ago, when I was on the ground. I cherished the moment because, I knew, what it will be like, when I will be on the ground again.

A chubby man with a pretty woman at his side, approached me from the distance. My happiness knew no bounds. Mum and Dad were smiling menacingly at me. I was hungry, cold and my knee ached from a bruise. I threw some tantrums. Then skipped down the moving swing and walked back towards home, where my dinner was waiting, warm, for me.