DeathWish

It's six thirty in the evening
as i sit solitary and silent
in my room where
only the dim, flickering luminence from the mosquito repellent
is the only possible source of light

i have been holding the silvery razor
for a long time now
thinking all this while, how life has turned out
How it no longer holds an aim
How it stands now with
voids....
with blanks,
which i can't fill with whatsoever i might want to do
It stands with,
a long list of questions
that i have no answers to

it stands with many other things
Which are kilos and kilos of
meaninglessness...


A sudden pain stings hard
as i finally move the razor
over my wrist...
A flash of lightening
And then a shower...

I watch my skin glow
as it never glowed before
under the rivers and tributaries
of bright red

As it falls on the persian carpet
drop after drop after drop
the pale blue turns into
a dark shade of Crimson...

soon it can soak no more (so much as me)
There is a pool
of my worthlessness
that never deserved to run in my veins

Its strange...
I can feel pain no more
my hand is numb
the numbness then moves to my shoulder
to my Face, to my Mind
where the happy memories begin to collect

I am now at peace
As the turbulence Ceases,
I close my eyes

the happy scenes fade
Its dark now....
Hopefully................Forever!